I have previously ranked horror movies here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. It's that time of year when things turn scary, and we have a real classic this time! Last Saturday, my son and I watched Alien together. I know it was scary because when a scene is too tense, he likes to go hide on the stairs until it's over--and there was a lot of stair hiding this time. After the movie was done, though, he said he loved it.
ALIEN (1979)
Sort of like Jaws, I don't think I need to explain this one too much. The spaceship Nostromo, a mining vessel, is returning to Earth with a full cargo. However, the ship wakes the crew from hibernation early when its sensors detect a world with non-human life on it, as per the programming of the ship's computer. When the crew investigates, an insectoid alien attacks one of their members, Kane, and, unbeknownst to the others, lays an egg in his body.
When Kane returns to the ship, the alien hatches inside him while they're eating dinner in one of the most famous scenes in movie history. From there, the alien slowly hunts the crew members one by one, until only Sigourney Weaver is left (plus the ship's cat, which she manages to save).
I might add I hadn't seen this one since high school and it's even better than I remembered it.
Story/Plot/Characters--The dialogue is realistic and the performances fantastic, the plotline is taut, and the moment to moment pacing is perfect, starting slow and ominous and building to an almost breakneck pace. (4 points)
Special Effects--The movie applied the most advanced effects available for both horror and science fiction in 1979 and in my opinion they hold up quite well. (2 points)
Scariness--There may be a few movies scarier, but not many. (2 points)
Atmosphere/Freakiness--Spaceship and alien designs by Swiss surrealist painter H.R. Giger give this movie a unified, and very weird, aesthetic that's been enormously influential in the decades since. But so many freaky individual scenes: the windstorm on the planet's surface, coming across the giant skeletal corpse of an alien on the crashed spaceship, the steam vents and chains and weird industrial equipment in the vast ore storage chambers on the Nostromo, the cramped air shafts and utility spaces, all add up to perhaps the most atmospheric horror film ever. (2 poins)
Total=10 points
Huh, the first perfect score. I wasn't expecting that before I saw the movie. But I found nothing to object to throughout, and nearly every moment had something to admire.
______________________________________________________________________________
Here's the master list of horror movies I've rated so far, and let's also add to it the color ranking I use with the comic movies.
Green=excellent Blue=pretty good Black=Okay Red=avoid
Alien (1979)=10 points
Day of the Dead (1978)=9.5 points
Bride of Frankenstein (1935)=8.5 points
Frankenstein (1931)=8 points
King Kong (1933)=8 points
Village of the Damned (1960)=8 points
Night of the Living Dead (1968)=7.5 points
Jaws (1975)=7 points
Witch: A New England Folktale (2015)=6.5 points
Night Creatures (1962)=6.5 points
Phantom of the Opera (1962)=6.5 points
The Thing (1982)=6 points
Lady Frankenstein (1971)=4.5 points
Gremlins (1984)=4 points
Man-Thing (2005)=4 points
Creature From the Black Lagoon (1954)=3.5 points
The Wolf Man (1941)=3 points
Tuesday, September 27, 2016
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
Scary Movies: Lady Frankenstein
I have previously ranked horror movies here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. I'll have a lot more scary movie reviews in October, but I couldn't wait that long to test out a movie from a new DVD I received for my birthday with a dozen or so public domain horror films on it.
LADY FRANKENSTEIN (1971)
Lady Frankenstein is an Italian-produced horror film, though it has mostly American and British actors, including Joseph Cotten (!) as the Doctor himself. It's not rated, but it should be pointed out this is a movie for adults, with several scenes with nudity and sexual situations.
In this version of the story, Dr. Frankenstein has been conducting his experiments on recreating life in the lab for 20 years along with his faithful assistant Dr. Marshall. His daughter, Tania, has recently returned from college, where she became a surgeon. Dr. Frankenstein tries to keep from Tania what he is working on, indeed, that his life's work has almost reached its culmination, with a stitched-together body ready to be brought to life. However, she reveals that she's long known what he has been working on, and she became a surgeon so she could assist him in his great experiments.
On the fateful stormy night, Dr. Frankenstein, Marshall, and Tania bring the monster to life with a well-timed bolt of lightning. The monster, however, is quite murderous and bloodthirsty (no sympathetic Boris Karloff here!) and kills Dr. Frankenstein almost immediately upon awakening, after which he escapes and commences a killing spree in the countryside.
Tania believes the only way to defeat the electrically-powered monster, who has massive strength and is impervious to bullets, is by creating another monster. Dr. Marshall objects that there is no way for them to gather the necessary body parts, which he and Dr. Frankenstein had been collecting for years. Ah, but Tania has an idea: they shall use Dr. Marshall's brain, and put it in the freshly murdered body of Thomas, the mentally retarded but physically imposing houseboy. Dr. Marshall does not want to commit the murder, but Tania reveals she knows he has always loved her, and she could love him in return if he were in a young, vigorous body like Thomas's, rather than his own aging body.
Dr. Marshall agrees. Tania seduces Thomas, and Dr. Marshall sneaks in and commits the deed. Tania then performs the brain transplant and brings the new monster to life, with Thomas's body and Dr. Marshall's mind. The procedure works, and the new monster soon battles the old monster, defeating and killing it. However, the castle is set on fire during the fight. Before they can flee, the new monster demands Tania consummate their love, but alas, it seems the new monster is as evil as the old, for the new monster strangles Tania during their lovemaking before both of them are consumed by the flames.
As you can tell, this is something of a feminist take on the Frankenstein story. It seems rather historically implausible--I think it would be simply impossible for a woman to become a surgeon in the 19th century. Still, if one is willing to accept that, it certainly gives a lot of power to Tania. She is the main driver of the action in this story, especially after her father is killed by the monster, and she is shown as being an intelligent, passionate woman who knows what she wants and goes after it, able to operate in the man's world of science better than the men who surround her. It also depicts her as utterly without scruple or morality, but I suppose in that she takes after her father.
I actually enjoyed this movie more than its score below is going to indicate. It was fast-paced, fairly exciting, low-budget but no glaring deficiencies. With plenty of nudity and rawer violence than usually scene in a Frankenstein movie, its pleasures were more of the lurid kind than the purely artistic. For those who don't object to that sort of thing, I could recommend this as a fun way to pass 90 minutes.
Story/Plot/Characters--Acting is decent though not great, the story is coherent and presents a fresh spin on an oft-told tale. Characters have believable motivations, although except for Tania they were still two-dimensional. (2 points)
Special Effects--The Frankenstein's monster is quite gruesome--you can really believe he's stitched together from corpses. The all-important laboratory is fairly lackluster though, the coming-to-life scene is dull, and there are few other effects to speak of other than copious blood. (1 point)
Scariness--More campy than scary. (1/2 point)
Atmosphere/Freakiness--Some atmosphere, the cynically wisecracking graverobbers in the cemetery are a nice touch. I think some of the outdoor and village scenes were filmed on location rather than in a studio, which added a little something, Does not live up to its Universal or Hammer predecessors, however. (1 point)
Total=4.5 points
______________________________________________________________________________
Here's the master list of horror movies I've rated so far, and let's also add to it the color ranking I use with the comic movies.
Green=excellent Blue=pretty good Black=Okay Red=avoid
Day of the Dead (1978)=9.5 points
Bride of Frankenstein (1935)=8.5 points
Frankenstein (1931)=8 points
King Kong (1933)=8 points
Village of the Damned (1960)=8 points
Night of the Living Dead (1968)=7.5 points
Jaws (1975)=7 points
Witch: A New England Folktale (2015)=6.5 points
Night Creatures (1962)=6.5 points
Phantom of the Opera (1962)=6.5 points
The Thing (1982)=6 points
Lady Frankenstein (1971)=4.5 points
Gremlins (1984)=4 points
Man-Thing (2005)=4 points
Creature From the Black Lagoon (1954)=3.5 points
The Wolf Man (1941)=3 points
LADY FRANKENSTEIN (1971)
Lady Frankenstein is an Italian-produced horror film, though it has mostly American and British actors, including Joseph Cotten (!) as the Doctor himself. It's not rated, but it should be pointed out this is a movie for adults, with several scenes with nudity and sexual situations.
In this version of the story, Dr. Frankenstein has been conducting his experiments on recreating life in the lab for 20 years along with his faithful assistant Dr. Marshall. His daughter, Tania, has recently returned from college, where she became a surgeon. Dr. Frankenstein tries to keep from Tania what he is working on, indeed, that his life's work has almost reached its culmination, with a stitched-together body ready to be brought to life. However, she reveals that she's long known what he has been working on, and she became a surgeon so she could assist him in his great experiments.
On the fateful stormy night, Dr. Frankenstein, Marshall, and Tania bring the monster to life with a well-timed bolt of lightning. The monster, however, is quite murderous and bloodthirsty (no sympathetic Boris Karloff here!) and kills Dr. Frankenstein almost immediately upon awakening, after which he escapes and commences a killing spree in the countryside.
Tania believes the only way to defeat the electrically-powered monster, who has massive strength and is impervious to bullets, is by creating another monster. Dr. Marshall objects that there is no way for them to gather the necessary body parts, which he and Dr. Frankenstein had been collecting for years. Ah, but Tania has an idea: they shall use Dr. Marshall's brain, and put it in the freshly murdered body of Thomas, the mentally retarded but physically imposing houseboy. Dr. Marshall does not want to commit the murder, but Tania reveals she knows he has always loved her, and she could love him in return if he were in a young, vigorous body like Thomas's, rather than his own aging body.
Dr. Marshall agrees. Tania seduces Thomas, and Dr. Marshall sneaks in and commits the deed. Tania then performs the brain transplant and brings the new monster to life, with Thomas's body and Dr. Marshall's mind. The procedure works, and the new monster soon battles the old monster, defeating and killing it. However, the castle is set on fire during the fight. Before they can flee, the new monster demands Tania consummate their love, but alas, it seems the new monster is as evil as the old, for the new monster strangles Tania during their lovemaking before both of them are consumed by the flames.
As you can tell, this is something of a feminist take on the Frankenstein story. It seems rather historically implausible--I think it would be simply impossible for a woman to become a surgeon in the 19th century. Still, if one is willing to accept that, it certainly gives a lot of power to Tania. She is the main driver of the action in this story, especially after her father is killed by the monster, and she is shown as being an intelligent, passionate woman who knows what she wants and goes after it, able to operate in the man's world of science better than the men who surround her. It also depicts her as utterly without scruple or morality, but I suppose in that she takes after her father.
I actually enjoyed this movie more than its score below is going to indicate. It was fast-paced, fairly exciting, low-budget but no glaring deficiencies. With plenty of nudity and rawer violence than usually scene in a Frankenstein movie, its pleasures were more of the lurid kind than the purely artistic. For those who don't object to that sort of thing, I could recommend this as a fun way to pass 90 minutes.
Story/Plot/Characters--Acting is decent though not great, the story is coherent and presents a fresh spin on an oft-told tale. Characters have believable motivations, although except for Tania they were still two-dimensional. (2 points)
Special Effects--The Frankenstein's monster is quite gruesome--you can really believe he's stitched together from corpses. The all-important laboratory is fairly lackluster though, the coming-to-life scene is dull, and there are few other effects to speak of other than copious blood. (1 point)
Scariness--More campy than scary. (1/2 point)
Atmosphere/Freakiness--Some atmosphere, the cynically wisecracking graverobbers in the cemetery are a nice touch. I think some of the outdoor and village scenes were filmed on location rather than in a studio, which added a little something, Does not live up to its Universal or Hammer predecessors, however. (1 point)
Total=4.5 points
______________________________________________________________________________
Here's the master list of horror movies I've rated so far, and let's also add to it the color ranking I use with the comic movies.
Green=excellent Blue=pretty good Black=Okay Red=avoid
Day of the Dead (1978)=9.5 points
Bride of Frankenstein (1935)=8.5 points
Frankenstein (1931)=8 points
King Kong (1933)=8 points
Village of the Damned (1960)=8 points
Night of the Living Dead (1968)=7.5 points
Jaws (1975)=7 points
Witch: A New England Folktale (2015)=6.5 points
Night Creatures (1962)=6.5 points
Phantom of the Opera (1962)=6.5 points
The Thing (1982)=6 points
Lady Frankenstein (1971)=4.5 points
Gremlins (1984)=4 points
Man-Thing (2005)=4 points
Creature From the Black Lagoon (1954)=3.5 points
The Wolf Man (1941)=3 points
Sunday, September 18, 2016
Ranking Die Another Day
I previously ranked some of the James Bond movies here, here, and here. I watched Die Another Day last weekend with my son. I had remembered this as being the best of the Pierce Brosnan films, and though I haven't seen the others since they first came out in theaters, I'm pretty sure my opinion still holds in that regard. I picked this one because my son takes fencing lessons, and this movie has a big fencing scene. In fact, that turned out to be the best part of the movie.
Since the Bond movies are formulaic and their quality is based on how well they fulfill the formula, I created a little rubric to rank the Bond movies, with several categories a movie can get points in. A Bond film gets 2 points if the movie is one of the top 3 Bond movies for a category, and 1 point if it's in the top 7, plus a couple special categories. Here are the criteria, with a maximum of 14 points available:
Story/Plot--2 points--Is the plot coherent and logical? Are the stakes high? (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 7)
Action--2 points--Are the stunts exciting? The car chases thrilling? (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 7)
Villain--2 points--What's a Bond movie without dastardly villains and their henchmen? (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 7)
Setting--2 points--The Bond movies are all about exotic locations. (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 7)
Gadgets, Vehicles, Lairs--2 points--What's the cool stuff? (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 7)
Bond girls--2 points--The ladies, oh yes, the ladies. (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 7)
Sean Connery or Daniel Craig?--1 point--These are the best Bonds (no need to debate) and get an automatic extra point if appearing in the film.
Musical theme--1 point if in the top 5
Since the Bond movies are formulaic and their quality is based on how well they fulfill the formula, I created a little rubric to rank the Bond movies, with several categories a movie can get points in. A Bond film gets 2 points if the movie is one of the top 3 Bond movies for a category, and 1 point if it's in the top 7, plus a couple special categories. Here are the criteria, with a maximum of 14 points available:
Story/Plot--2 points--Is the plot coherent and logical? Are the stakes high? (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 7)
Action--2 points--Are the stunts exciting? The car chases thrilling? (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 7)
Villain--2 points--What's a Bond movie without dastardly villains and their henchmen? (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 7)
Setting--2 points--The Bond movies are all about exotic locations. (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 7)
Gadgets, Vehicles, Lairs--2 points--What's the cool stuff? (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 7)
Bond girls--2 points--The ladies, oh yes, the ladies. (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 7)
Sean Connery or Daniel Craig?--1 point--These are the best Bonds (no need to debate) and get an automatic extra point if appearing in the film.
Musical theme--1 point if in the top 5
Die Another Day
Story/Plot--The story is coherent enough, even if the villain's plan isn't very common-sensical. The villain, rogue North Korean Colonel Moon, has world domination on the mind and plans to use his satellite, which can redirect the sun's rays, to blaze a path through the DMZ in Korea. But it's not really clear what that will do? Dialogue is full of action movie cliches. (0 points)
Action--The aforementioned fencing scene, where Bond and Colonel Moon's alter ego, British adventurer Gustav Graves, swordfight throughout an old English fencing club, destroying priceless paintings and sculptures on the way, is a masterpiece of movement and humor. Other action scenes are fairly generic. Top 7 (1 point)
Villain--Colonel Moon, even in his Gustav Graves disguise, just doesn't have much charisma. His henchman, Zao, has an interesting look with diamonds embedded in his face, but never actually does anything. (0 points)
Setting--Fun locations in Cuba and an ice hotel in Iceland. I don't believe any other Bonds have ever had parts set in North Korea, either. Top 7. (1 point)
Gadgets, Vehicles, Lairs--The ice hotel is cool, and although James Bond's invisible car is a little silly, points for creativity. I believe this pushes Live and Let Die out of the Top 7. (1 point)
Bond Girls--Halle Berre plays Jinx, an American agent and Bond's love interest. Beautiful, sassy, and every bit Bond's equal. I don't think she quite cracks the top 3, but Jinx is definitely Top 7. (1 point)
SC or DC? No
Music--Theme song is by Madonna and god-awful. I'm not sure if the music in this or Man With the Golden Gun is worse, but they're both at the bottom (0 points)
Total: 4 points
Rejiggered points for other movies:
Live and Let Die (-1) for Gadgets/Vehicles/Lairs
The Man With the Golden Gun (-1) for Bond Girls
On Her Majesty's Secret Service (-1) for Setting
Goldfinger (-1) for Action
And, here are the updated results:
1) The Spy Who Loved Me, 12 points
2, 3) Goldfinger, Casino Royale (tied with 9 points)
4) On Her Majesty's Secret Service (8 points)
5, 6) Skyfall, Thunderball (tied with 6 points)
7) Spectre (5 points)
8, 9) Live and Let Die, Die Another Day (4 points)
10) The Man With the Golden Gun (3 points)
Story/Plot--The story is coherent enough, even if the villain's plan isn't very common-sensical. The villain, rogue North Korean Colonel Moon, has world domination on the mind and plans to use his satellite, which can redirect the sun's rays, to blaze a path through the DMZ in Korea. But it's not really clear what that will do? Dialogue is full of action movie cliches. (0 points)
Action--The aforementioned fencing scene, where Bond and Colonel Moon's alter ego, British adventurer Gustav Graves, swordfight throughout an old English fencing club, destroying priceless paintings and sculptures on the way, is a masterpiece of movement and humor. Other action scenes are fairly generic. Top 7 (1 point)
Villain--Colonel Moon, even in his Gustav Graves disguise, just doesn't have much charisma. His henchman, Zao, has an interesting look with diamonds embedded in his face, but never actually does anything. (0 points)
Setting--Fun locations in Cuba and an ice hotel in Iceland. I don't believe any other Bonds have ever had parts set in North Korea, either. Top 7. (1 point)
Gadgets, Vehicles, Lairs--The ice hotel is cool, and although James Bond's invisible car is a little silly, points for creativity. I believe this pushes Live and Let Die out of the Top 7. (1 point)
Bond Girls--Halle Berre plays Jinx, an American agent and Bond's love interest. Beautiful, sassy, and every bit Bond's equal. I don't think she quite cracks the top 3, but Jinx is definitely Top 7. (1 point)
SC or DC? No
Music--Theme song is by Madonna and god-awful. I'm not sure if the music in this or Man With the Golden Gun is worse, but they're both at the bottom (0 points)
Total: 4 points
Rejiggered points for other movies:
Live and Let Die (-1) for Gadgets/Vehicles/Lairs
The Man With the Golden Gun (-1) for Bond Girls
On Her Majesty's Secret Service (-1) for Setting
Goldfinger (-1) for Action
And, here are the updated results:
1) The Spy Who Loved Me, 12 points
2, 3) Goldfinger, Casino Royale (tied with 9 points)
4) On Her Majesty's Secret Service (8 points)
5, 6) Skyfall, Thunderball (tied with 6 points)
7) Spectre (5 points)
8, 9) Live and Let Die, Die Another Day (4 points)
10) The Man With the Golden Gun (3 points)
Saturday, September 10, 2016
What I'm Reading: When I Was a Young Boy
When I Was a Young Boy is the translated title of Erich Kästner's 1957 book Als Ich ein Kleiner Junge War. Erich Kästner was a German author for children from the 1930s to 60s, probably best known for his book Emil and the Detectives. It would be an understatement to say Kästner was beloved--he was the German equivalent of a Beverly Cleary or Roald Dahl. This book is a memoir of his youth, up to about age 15, written in a style appropriate for late elementary or middle school.
Kästner was born in 1899 and lived until his teen years in Dresden, so much of the interest for the modern reader is in how life was lived in pre-World War I Germany. There is plenty of detail about the street cars, horse carriages, food, and clothing of the time. His mother was a hairdresser and his father worked in a factory, so he was not especially privileged, but his parents sacrificed a great deal for the son's education when he proved to be a good student. They also took in boarders in their apartment, by coincidence all of them teachers, so young Kästner grew up with the goal of becoming a teacher himself.
I think my favorite chapter was the one where he described he and his mother's increasing love of wilderness hiking when he was an early teenager. They would take the train from Dresden out to the end of the line and hike all over Saxony, their trips advancing from afternoon excursions to day- and then week-long trips as they grew more experienced. They would hike all morning through Saxon hills, meadows, and valleys, and stop at a village pub for ice cream and beer in the mid-afternoon (yes, this is Germany, where a teen drinking a beer with his mom is not a big deal!).
There are also interesting stories about how his Uncle Oscar became a millionaire and what it meant for the family, how he learned that a hated teacher at his middle school wasn't such a bad guy after all, and how he discovered the solution to the bizarre mystery of the woman who hired his mother to do the hair styling for a wedding, only for the address she gave to prove to be an abandoned house, with none of the neighbors knowing the woman or having heard of an upcoming wedding.
Kästner's writing achieves a sort of beauty through simplicity, and he sometimes wanders off into later, sadder periods, only to write the German equivalent of "but that's neither here not there." A page or so when he laments the fate of Dresden in World War II, when the world-historical Baroque-era city center was reduced to rubble by Allied bombing campaigns, is especially moving. (Note he was anti-Nazi and was questioned by the Gestapo several times, though he was lucky enough never to have to flee or spend time in a concentration camp. But that's neither here nor there.)
Unfortunately, I don't believe this book has ever been translated into English (although Emil and the Detectives has been), so it's not really accessible to non-German readers. But for me, it was a lot of fun. This is the first German book I've read in I think three or four years, so this was a good way to get back into reading with a book that's not too difficult. Kästner was a great author with an interesting life, so if this ever did appear in an English edition I would not hesitate to recommend it to others.
Kästner was born in 1899 and lived until his teen years in Dresden, so much of the interest for the modern reader is in how life was lived in pre-World War I Germany. There is plenty of detail about the street cars, horse carriages, food, and clothing of the time. His mother was a hairdresser and his father worked in a factory, so he was not especially privileged, but his parents sacrificed a great deal for the son's education when he proved to be a good student. They also took in boarders in their apartment, by coincidence all of them teachers, so young Kästner grew up with the goal of becoming a teacher himself.
I think my favorite chapter was the one where he described he and his mother's increasing love of wilderness hiking when he was an early teenager. They would take the train from Dresden out to the end of the line and hike all over Saxony, their trips advancing from afternoon excursions to day- and then week-long trips as they grew more experienced. They would hike all morning through Saxon hills, meadows, and valleys, and stop at a village pub for ice cream and beer in the mid-afternoon (yes, this is Germany, where a teen drinking a beer with his mom is not a big deal!).
There are also interesting stories about how his Uncle Oscar became a millionaire and what it meant for the family, how he learned that a hated teacher at his middle school wasn't such a bad guy after all, and how he discovered the solution to the bizarre mystery of the woman who hired his mother to do the hair styling for a wedding, only for the address she gave to prove to be an abandoned house, with none of the neighbors knowing the woman or having heard of an upcoming wedding.
Kästner's writing achieves a sort of beauty through simplicity, and he sometimes wanders off into later, sadder periods, only to write the German equivalent of "but that's neither here not there." A page or so when he laments the fate of Dresden in World War II, when the world-historical Baroque-era city center was reduced to rubble by Allied bombing campaigns, is especially moving. (Note he was anti-Nazi and was questioned by the Gestapo several times, though he was lucky enough never to have to flee or spend time in a concentration camp. But that's neither here nor there.)
Unfortunately, I don't believe this book has ever been translated into English (although Emil and the Detectives has been), so it's not really accessible to non-German readers. But for me, it was a lot of fun. This is the first German book I've read in I think three or four years, so this was a good way to get back into reading with a book that's not too difficult. Kästner was a great author with an interesting life, so if this ever did appear in an English edition I would not hesitate to recommend it to others.
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