This is the second time Marvel has made a film version of Dark Phoenix, the greatest X-Men saga of all time. The first attempt was X-Men 3: Last Stand, which was an awful movie, overloaded with pointless special effects and actors phoning in their performances, and culminating in a visually impressive but logically dubious fight scene in San Francisco Bay. This attempt is better than that one, although still not a great movie. I've ranked it Okay.
On a mission to save the space shuttle, X-Man Marvel Girl (civilian identity: Jean Grey) is exposed to a weird cosmic force which her body absorbs, the Phoenix Force. This gives her access to a cosmic level of power, but due to her traumatic past, Jean isn't mentally stable enough to handle it. Fearing her own abilities, Jean flees the X-Mansion and returns to her childhood home, where her father is not especially happy to see her again. When the X-Men come and try to persuade Jean to return with them, things soon escalate into a physical confrontation where Jean accidentally kills teammate Raven. Now on the run and convinced that even her closest friends are against her, Jean is vulnerable to persuasion by the bad guys, members of a shape-shifting alien race called the D'Bari, who wish to take the Phoenix Force for themselves.
I think the biggest problem here is that in the comics, the main villains for the Dark Phoenix saga are the Hellfire Club, a sort of Victorian social club of rich and powerful members, each of whom also happens to be an evil mutant. They're a pretty awesome group of villains, but the X-Men films already used them, in the X-Men: First Class movie. This movie uses instead the D'Bari, who are pretty generic. I found it difficult to find the D'Bari a real menace, or compelling in any way when they were on screen. Do the X-Men manage to defeat them and save Jean at the end? Probably, since there's no reason to think the D'Bari are sticking around.
I have previously ranked Ant-Man and the Wasp, Aquaman, Avengers: Endgame, Avengers: Infinity War, the Avengers movies, the Batman movies, Black Panther, Captain America: Civil War, Captain Marvel, Dr. Strange, Guardians of the Galaxy 2, Logan, Man of Steel, the Man-Thing, the non-Marvel and non-DC comic movies, the other DC movies, the Spider-Man movies, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, the summer 2015 comic movies, the Superman movies, Thor: Ragnarok, Wonder Woman, and the X-Men movies.
As ever, my ranking system is
Green=excellent Blue=pretty good Black=Okay Red=avoid
_______________________________________________________________________________
Here's the master list of all comics movies I've rated so far, in order from best to worst:
Crumb
American Splendor
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
Iron Man
Heavy Metal (1981)
Spider-Man 2 (2004)
Avengers
Superman (1978)
Captain America
Wonder Woman (2017)
Batman Begins (2005)
Captain America: Civil War
Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier
Avengers: Endgame
Spider-Man (2002)
Aquaman
X-Men 2: X-Men United
X-Men: Days of Future Past
Superman II
Batman (1989)
Ant-Man
Ant-Man and the Wasp
Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
Dr. Strange
The Dark Knight (2008)
Logan (2017)
Iron Man 3
The Wolverine (2013)
Guardians of the Galaxy 2
Sin City (2005)
X-Men: First Class
X-Men (2000)
Captain Marvel
Black Panther
Man of Steel (2013)
Avengers: Infinity War
Avengers 2: Age of Ultron
Swamp Thing (1982)
Spider-Man 3 (2007)
Iron Man 2
Watchmen (2009)
Batman Forever (1995)
Superman Returns (2006)
Thor 2: The Dark World
Dark Phoenix
Incredible Hulk (2008)
Mystery Men (1999)
Dark Knight Rises (2012)
Man-Thing (2005)
Superman III
Supergirl (1984)
Thor
X-Men 3: Last Stand
Hulk (2003)
Fritz the Cat (1972)
Batman and Robin (1997)
Batman Returns (1992)
Superman IV
Amazing Spider-Man (2012) (Haven't seen)
Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014) (Haven't seen)
Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) (Haven't seen)
Batman (1966) (Haven't seen)
Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice (Haven't seen)
Catwoman (Haven't seen)
Constantine (Haven't seen)
Deadpool (Haven't seen)
Green Lantern (Haven't seen)
Hellboy (Haven't seen)
Judge Dredd (Haven't seen)
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (2014) (Haven't seen)
V for Vendetta (Haven't seen)
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (Haven't seen)
Tuesday, July 30, 2019
Saturday, July 20, 2019
What I'm Reading: This Is Not a Love Scene
What a treat, a book by my fellow Writers of Chantilly writer, S.C. Megale! This Is Not a Love Scene is Megale's first published novel, although she's well known at the writer's group table for a number of books she's read to us over several years, each done with passion and skill. Unlike most of what I've read from her before, which tended toward fantasy or science fiction, this novel is realistic and set in the contemporary era. It follows Maeve, an 18-year old senior in high school who is taking a film class and hopes to enroll the following year at UCLA in film. She's fallen in love, or at least lust, with the school's top actor, Cole Stone, who is tall and good-looking, and has come up with a film project for her class involving Cole for possibly mixed reasons. And, oh yes, Maeve is in a wheelchair with a degenerative spinal disease for which there's no cure.
Maeve has a disappointing dating history--boys who go out with her to be nice, but have no intention of becoming more involved with her. A succession of guys who are "just...not able to go there." Cole is different. He's hard to read--teasing, alternating between flirtatious and distant, often monosyllabic. But he also seems to have a real romantic interest in Maeve, and over a series of awkward (but funny!) dates and encounters, they gradually learn how to translate their mutual sexual desire into physical affection.
Maeve also has a close group of friends to help her out--BFF Mags, who's pretty and romantically experienced and unfortunately currently dating Nate, who resents the attention Maeve gets from his girlfriend; Elliott and KC, two fellow students in her film class; Quinten, an older man and retired FBI agent who lives at a local nursing home; and of course Francois, her faithful service dog.
Together, the friends help Maeve navigate the myriad adventures of an active, lusty, wheelchair-bound teenage girl--filming a fifteen-minute film project that requires multiple on-location shots, confronting the pushy local director of a special-needs camp who seems to think Maeve owes her involvement, acquiring the unusually delicious ice cream at a local store that was built before handicapped-accessible laws.
In the end, though, it's Maeve who has to help one of her friends in a dangerous situation when no one else can. Will she survive? Will she get accepted to UCLA so she can pursue her dream of directing movies? And most importantly, will she get laid by Cole Stone?
Maeve has a disappointing dating history--boys who go out with her to be nice, but have no intention of becoming more involved with her. A succession of guys who are "just...not able to go there." Cole is different. He's hard to read--teasing, alternating between flirtatious and distant, often monosyllabic. But he also seems to have a real romantic interest in Maeve, and over a series of awkward (but funny!) dates and encounters, they gradually learn how to translate their mutual sexual desire into physical affection.
Maeve also has a close group of friends to help her out--BFF Mags, who's pretty and romantically experienced and unfortunately currently dating Nate, who resents the attention Maeve gets from his girlfriend; Elliott and KC, two fellow students in her film class; Quinten, an older man and retired FBI agent who lives at a local nursing home; and of course Francois, her faithful service dog.
Together, the friends help Maeve navigate the myriad adventures of an active, lusty, wheelchair-bound teenage girl--filming a fifteen-minute film project that requires multiple on-location shots, confronting the pushy local director of a special-needs camp who seems to think Maeve owes her involvement, acquiring the unusually delicious ice cream at a local store that was built before handicapped-accessible laws.
In the end, though, it's Maeve who has to help one of her friends in a dangerous situation when no one else can. Will she survive? Will she get accepted to UCLA so she can pursue her dream of directing movies? And most importantly, will she get laid by Cole Stone?
Tuesday, July 2, 2019
Ranking: Avengers: Endgame
I've now seen Avengers: Endgame twice. It is the second part (not a sequel) of last year's Avengers: Infinity War (which I reviewed here). It is the culmination not only of the two-part Avengers movie, but also of the entire 22-movie Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), which has been building to this point since Iron Man in 2009.
At the end of Avengers: Infinity War, cosmic bad guy Thanos had assembled the all-powerful Infinity Gauntlet, with its six power gems that have played a role in so many previous Marvel movies. Using the Gauntlet, he snapped his fingers and wiped out half of all life in the universe in one moment, including half of our heroes. Near the beginning of this movie, the narrative advances five years and we see how our remaining heroes and other characters are coping with their incredible losses. The answer: some better than others, but on the whole, not well.
When a freak accident causes Ant-Man to return from the quantum realm, where he's been stuck since the end of his movie from last summer, set just before Thanos's finger snap, he realizes that five years on earth was only about five hours for him. Time works differently in the quantum realm, and after describing his experiences to Tony Stark and Bruce Banner, our heroes theorize it might be possible to manipulate entrances and exits from the quantum realm to travel through time. That is, it might be possible to go back before Thanos assembled the power gems and rewrite history. Whether that works out or not, I will not reveal
I found Avengers: Endgame to be highly satisfying--not quite Excellent on my rankings list, but near the top of the Pretty Good movies. It's amazing how much the screenwriters and directors were able to put in--practically every character in the MCU has at least one meaningful scene--including some characters you may have nearly forgotten about--and yet it doesn't feel particularly over-stuffed. Thor and Hulk especially had some really fun character-building scenes. I'm not quite sure I can recommend it to everybody--if you haven't seen any previous Marvel movies, you have some serious homework to do before taking this one on. But for those already familiar with the MCU (you don't have to have seen every movie to date), this is a really fun movie.
I have previously ranked Ant-Man and the Wasp, Aquaman, Avengers: Infinity War, the Avengers movies, the Batman movies, Black Panther, Captain America: Civil War, Captain Marvel, Dr. Strange, Guardians of the Galaxy 2, Logan, Man of Steel, the Man-Thing, the non-Marvel and non-DC comic movies, the other DC movies, the Spider-Man movies, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, the summer 2015 comic movies, the Superman movies, Thor: Ragnarok, Wonder Woman, and the X-Men movies.
As ever, my ranking system is
Green=excellent Blue=pretty good Black=Okay Red=avoid
_______________________________________________________________________________
Here's the master list of all comics movies I've rated so far, in order from best to worst:
Crumb
American Splendor
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
Iron Man
Heavy Metal (1981)
Spider-Man 2 (2004)
Avengers
Superman (1978)
Captain America
Wonder Woman (2017)
Batman Begins (2005)
Captain America: Civil War
Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier
Avengers: Endgame
Spider-Man (2002)
Aquaman
X-Men 2: X-Men United
X-Men: Days of Future Past
Superman II
Batman (1989)
Ant-Man
Ant-Man and the Wasp
Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
Dr. Strange
The Dark Knight (2008)
Logan (2017)
Iron Man 3
The Wolverine (2013)
Guardians of the Galaxy 2
Sin City (2005)
X-Men: First Class
X-Men (2000)
Captain Marvel
Black Panther
Man of Steel (2013)
Avengers: Infinity War
Avengers 2: Age of Ultron
Swamp Thing (1982)
Spider-Man 3 (2007)
Iron Man 2
Watchmen (2009)
Batman Forever (1995)
Superman Returns (2006)
Thor 2: The Dark World
Incredible Hulk (2008)
Mystery Men (1999)
Dark Knight Rises (2012)
Man-Thing (2005)
Superman III
Supergirl (1984)
Thor
X-Men 3: Last Stand
Hulk (2003)
Fritz the Cat (1972)
Batman and Robin (1997)
Batman Returns (1992)
Superman IV
Amazing Spider-Man (2012) (Haven't seen)
Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014) (Haven't seen)
Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) (Haven't seen)
Batman (1966) (Haven't seen)
Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice (Haven't seen)
Catwoman (Haven't seen)
Constantine (Haven't seen)
Deadpool (Haven't seen)
Green Lantern (Haven't seen)
Hellboy (Haven't seen)
Judge Dredd (Haven't seen)
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (2014) (Haven't seen)
V for Vendetta (Haven't seen)
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (Haven't seen)
At the end of Avengers: Infinity War, cosmic bad guy Thanos had assembled the all-powerful Infinity Gauntlet, with its six power gems that have played a role in so many previous Marvel movies. Using the Gauntlet, he snapped his fingers and wiped out half of all life in the universe in one moment, including half of our heroes. Near the beginning of this movie, the narrative advances five years and we see how our remaining heroes and other characters are coping with their incredible losses. The answer: some better than others, but on the whole, not well.
When a freak accident causes Ant-Man to return from the quantum realm, where he's been stuck since the end of his movie from last summer, set just before Thanos's finger snap, he realizes that five years on earth was only about five hours for him. Time works differently in the quantum realm, and after describing his experiences to Tony Stark and Bruce Banner, our heroes theorize it might be possible to manipulate entrances and exits from the quantum realm to travel through time. That is, it might be possible to go back before Thanos assembled the power gems and rewrite history. Whether that works out or not, I will not reveal
I found Avengers: Endgame to be highly satisfying--not quite Excellent on my rankings list, but near the top of the Pretty Good movies. It's amazing how much the screenwriters and directors were able to put in--practically every character in the MCU has at least one meaningful scene--including some characters you may have nearly forgotten about--and yet it doesn't feel particularly over-stuffed. Thor and Hulk especially had some really fun character-building scenes. I'm not quite sure I can recommend it to everybody--if you haven't seen any previous Marvel movies, you have some serious homework to do before taking this one on. But for those already familiar with the MCU (you don't have to have seen every movie to date), this is a really fun movie.
I have previously ranked Ant-Man and the Wasp, Aquaman, Avengers: Infinity War, the Avengers movies, the Batman movies, Black Panther, Captain America: Civil War, Captain Marvel, Dr. Strange, Guardians of the Galaxy 2, Logan, Man of Steel, the Man-Thing, the non-Marvel and non-DC comic movies, the other DC movies, the Spider-Man movies, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, the summer 2015 comic movies, the Superman movies, Thor: Ragnarok, Wonder Woman, and the X-Men movies.
As ever, my ranking system is
Green=excellent Blue=pretty good Black=Okay Red=avoid
_______________________________________________________________________________
Here's the master list of all comics movies I've rated so far, in order from best to worst:
Crumb
American Splendor
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
Iron Man
Heavy Metal (1981)
Spider-Man 2 (2004)
Avengers
Superman (1978)
Captain America
Wonder Woman (2017)
Batman Begins (2005)
Captain America: Civil War
Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier
Avengers: Endgame
Spider-Man (2002)
Aquaman
X-Men 2: X-Men United
X-Men: Days of Future Past
Superman II
Batman (1989)
Ant-Man
Ant-Man and the Wasp
Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
Dr. Strange
The Dark Knight (2008)
Logan (2017)
Iron Man 3
The Wolverine (2013)
Guardians of the Galaxy 2
Sin City (2005)
X-Men: First Class
X-Men (2000)
Captain Marvel
Black Panther
Man of Steel (2013)
Avengers: Infinity War
Avengers 2: Age of Ultron
Swamp Thing (1982)
Spider-Man 3 (2007)
Iron Man 2
Watchmen (2009)
Batman Forever (1995)
Superman Returns (2006)
Thor 2: The Dark World
Incredible Hulk (2008)
Mystery Men (1999)
Dark Knight Rises (2012)
Man-Thing (2005)
Superman III
Supergirl (1984)
Thor
X-Men 3: Last Stand
Hulk (2003)
Fritz the Cat (1972)
Batman and Robin (1997)
Batman Returns (1992)
Superman IV
Amazing Spider-Man (2012) (Haven't seen)
Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014) (Haven't seen)
Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) (Haven't seen)
Batman (1966) (Haven't seen)
Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice (Haven't seen)
Catwoman (Haven't seen)
Constantine (Haven't seen)
Deadpool (Haven't seen)
Green Lantern (Haven't seen)
Hellboy (Haven't seen)
Judge Dredd (Haven't seen)
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (2014) (Haven't seen)
V for Vendetta (Haven't seen)
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (Haven't seen)
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