The Ballad of Nick's Blog: James Bond

Showing posts with label James Bond. Show all posts

Monday, January 21, 2019

Ranking Diamonds Are Forever

I previously ranked some of the James Bond movies here, here, here, here, and here. Last night my son and I watched Diamonds Are Forever, the final of the six Bond movies Sean Connery appeared in. It's acquired a reputation as one of the more ridiculous Bond movies--for instance, much of the first Austin Powers movie mocks/homages this installment in the Bond series. Sean Connery was really phoning his performance in--he had not intended to return as Bond and only came back because of the large paycheck the producers offered--and this is also the first of three or four Bond movies to use a lot of US locations to save money. It's in no way one of the better Bond movies.

That having been said, I think my little rubric for rating the Bond movies is going to do Diamonds Are Forever a disservice. It's a thoroughly mediocre Bond film, and yet there's little really bad about it. It's entertaining all the way through. It's certainly better than, say, The Man With the Golden Gun, but because that movie did a couple things pretty well despite its overall terribleness, I think it will end up ranking higher than Diamonds Are Forever, which does no single thing especially well. Let's see how it works out.

Since the Bond movies are formulaic and their quality is based on how well they fulfill the formula, I created a little rubric to rank the Bond movies, with several categories a movie can get points in. A Bond film gets 2 points if the movie is one of the top 4 Bond movies for a category, and 1 point if it's in the top 8, plus a couple special categories. Here are the criteria, with a maximum of 14 points available:

Story/Plot--2 points--Is the plot coherent and logical? Are the stakes high? (2 points, top 4; 1 point, top 8)

Action--2 points--Are the stunts exciting? The car chases thrilling? (2 points, top 4; 1 point, top 8)

Villain--2 points--What's a Bond movie without dastardly villains and their henchmen? (2 points, top 4; 1 point, top 8)

Setting--2 points--The Bond movies are all about exotic locations. (2 points, top 4; 1 point, top 8)

Gadgets, Vehicles, Lairs--2 points--What's the cool stuff? (2 points, top 4; 1 point, top 8)

Bond girls--2 points--The ladies, oh yes, the ladies. (2 points, top 4; 1 point, top 8)

Sean Connery or Daniel Craig?--1 point--These are the best Bonds (no need to debate) and get an automatic extra point if appearing in the film.

Musical theme--1 point if in the top 5

Diamonds Are Forever
Story/Plot--The story involves Bond trying to stop some smuggled South African diamonds from reaching their mysterious buyer in Las Vegas. Not real high-stakes, the ultimate use of the diamonds is a rather perfunctory surprise, and there's at least one Wha? moment in the plot, when James Bond just shows up at a house where he needs to be in Las Vegas with no indication of how he knew where to go. (0 points)
Action--Hmm. An early fight in a slowly-rising open elevator in an Amsterdam apartment building is expertly staged, but not all that interesting. A car chase in a casino parking lot has some impressive driving by Bond, but not actually that great to watch--I mean, they're just driving around a parking lot! I can do that myself! Another chase with a moon buggy in the Nevada desert is fun, but not quite Top 8. A scene with Bond scaling the outside of a casino in Las Vegas is nice but also not quite Top 8. (0 points)
Villain--Blofeld is the villain, played here by Charles Gray, who's no Telly Savalas. The henchmen, Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd, are an unfortunately-stereotyped gay couple with a shared penchant for elegant, sadistic, but only mildly creative assassinations. (0 points)
Setting--Amsterdam is a bit exotic from the American point of view, I suppose, but Las Vegas certainly is not. (0 points)
Gadgets, Vehicles, Lairs--There are some cool vehicles and gadgets in this one. Blofeld's cover for his nefarious doings is an aerospace firm outside Las Vegas, where they are apparently practicing driving around in a moon buggy in the stark Nevadan landscape (and possibly filming fake moon landings?). Q wins multiple jackpots on Las Vegas slot machines with a magnetic something-or-other he's testing out. Bond must evade a deadly pipe-cleaning robot when he's buried alive in some sort of pipeline that's under construction. Bond scales a casino with a grappling hook that can embed itself in concrete. This ranks #6 on my list for this category, pushing Live and Let Die out of the Top 8. (1 point)
Bond Girls--Lana Wood is extremely hot as Plenty O'Toole, but dumb as a rock and only in the movie briefly. However, she, together with Jill St. John as diamond smuggler Tiffany Case, manage to edge out Fiona Volpe from Thunderball. (1 point)
SC or DC? Sean Connery (1 (point)
Music--Theme song is sung by Shirley Bassey, who also sang the great Goldfinger theme. Unfortunately, this one is a pale imitation. (0 points)
Total: 3 points

Rejiggered points for other movies:
Live and Let Die moves out of Top 8 for Gadgets, Vehicles, Lairs (-1)
Thunderball moves out of Top 8 for Bond Girls (-1)

And, here are the updated results:
1) The Spy Who Loved Me (12 points)
2) Casino Royale (10 points)
3, 4) Goldfinger, On Her Majesty's Secret Service (tied with 9 points)
5) Skyfall (8 points)
6, 7, 8) Thunderball, Spectre, The Man With the Golden Gun (5 points)
9, 10, 11) Die Another Day, A View to a Kill, Live and Let Die (4 points)
12) Diamonds Are Forever (3 points)

Saturday, June 10, 2017

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Ranking A View To A Kill

I previously ranked some of the James Bond movies here, here, here, and here. I watched A View To a Kill last weekend with my son. It was the last of the Roger Moore movies, from 1985. Although it's the one I've probably seen most in my life, as it used to come on HBO regularly when I was a kid, I haven't seen it in probably 30 years. There was a lot I didn't remember!

For one thing, it's actually fairly quiet and circumspect, as far as Bond movies go. That's probably one reason I don't remember much--like my son last week, I probably bailed during the talky parts and only came back during the action scenes. Much of the first half of the movie concerns racehorses being doped at a horse farm in rural France, while much of the second half features a genuine romance developing between James Bond and a sweet heiress who's inherited her family's oil wells in California and is determined to hold onto them, despite the legal maneuvering of the villain Zorin. I was a lot more into the plot as an adult than I'm sure I ever was as a ten- or -eleven-year old.

Since the Bond movies are formulaic and their quality is based on how well they fulfill the formula, I created a little rubric to rank the Bond movies, with several categories a movie can get points in. We're going to tweak the formula slightly for this movie. A Bond film gets 2 points if the movie is one of the top 4 Bond movies for a category, and 1 point if it's in the top 8, plus a couple special categories. Here are the criteria, with a maximum of 14 points available:

Story/Plot--2 points--Is the plot coherent and logical? Are the stakes high? (2 points, top 4; 1 point, top 8)

Action--2 points--Are the stunts exciting? The car chases thrilling? (2 points, top 4; 1 point, top 8)

Villain--2 points--What's a Bond movie without dastardly villains and their henchmen? (2 points, top 4; 1 point, top 4)

Setting--2 points--The Bond movies are all about exotic locations. (2 points, top 4; 1 point, top 8)

Gadgets, Vehicles, Lairs--2 points--What's the cool stuff? (2 points, top 4; 1 point, top 8)

Bond girls--2 points--The ladies, oh yes, the ladies. (2 points, top 4; 1 point, top 8)

Sean Connery or Daniel Craig?--1 point--These are the best Bonds (no need to debate) and get an automatic extra point if appearing in the film.

Musical theme--1 point if in the top 5

A View to a Kill
Story/Plot--The story is well-written, Zorin's scheme to corner the world market in semiconductors by inducing an earthquake in Silicon Valley is fairly sensical by Bond villain standards, and the romance between Bond and heiress Stacy Sutton is surprisingly sweet. An unexpected result: this is in the Top 4. (2 points)
Action--A great climactic scene atop the Golden Gate Bridge, along with an entertaining car chase through the streets of San Francisco, put this in the Top 8. (1 point)
Villain--Zorin, played by a very young Christopher Walken, doesn't quite live up to the standards set by other villains. (0 points)
Setting--Rural France and San Francisco are nice, but not quite exotic enough to score here. (0 points)
Gadgets, Vehicles, Lairs--No special cars or special gadgets, and Zorin's lair is unremarkable. The vast mining operation he is using to drain a lake that will trigger earthquakes in Silicon Valley is more impressive, but not enough to score here. (0 points)
Bond Girls--Grace Jones? I don't think so. Tanya Roberts as heiress Stacey Sutton is sweet but not a classic Bond girl. (0 points)
SC or DC? No
Music--Theme song is by Duran Duran and is a real classic, so much so that it practically takes over the soundtrack. There's relatively little use of the classic Bond theme, with an orchestral version of the Duran Duran song playing throughout. Pushes Thunderball out of the top 5. (1 point)
Total: 4 points

Rejiggered points for other movies:
Skyfall moves into the Top 4 for Action (+1)
Raoul Silva in Skyfall moves into Top 4 for Villain (+1)

On Her Majesty's Service moves into the Top 8 for Setting (+1)
The Man With the Golden Gun moves into Top 4 for Setting (+1)
Live and Let Die moves into the Top 8 for Gadgets/Vehicles/Lairs (+1)
Thunderball moves into the Top 8 for Gadgets/Vehicles/Lairs (+1)
The Man With the Golden Gun moves into the Top 8 for Bond Girls (+1)
Vesper Lynd in Casino Royale moves into Top 4 for Bond Girls (+1)
Thunderball (-1) for Music

And, here are the updated results:
1) The Spy Who Loved Me (12 points)
2) Casino Royale (10 points)
3, 4) Goldfinger, On Her Majesty's Secret Service (tied with 9 points)
5) Skyfall (8 points)
6) Thunderball (6 points)
7, 8, 9) Live and Let Die, Spectre, The Man With the Golden Gun (5 points)
10, 11) Die Another Day, A View to a Kill (4 points)

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Ranking Die Another Day

I previously ranked some of the James Bond movies here, here, and here. I watched Die Another Day last weekend with my son. I had remembered this as being the best of the Pierce Brosnan films, and though I haven't seen the others since they first came out in theaters, I'm pretty sure my opinion still holds in that regard. I picked this one because my son takes fencing lessons, and this movie has a big fencing scene. In fact, that turned out to be the best part of the movie.

Since the Bond movies are formulaic and their quality is based on how well they fulfill the formula, I created a little rubric to rank the Bond movies, with several categories a movie can get points in. A Bond film gets 2 points if the movie is one of the top 3 Bond movies for a category, and 1 point if it's in the top 7, plus a couple special categories. Here are the criteria, with a maximum of 14 points available:

Story/Plot--2 points--Is the plot coherent and logical? Are the stakes high? (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 7)

Action--2 points--Are the stunts exciting? The car chases thrilling? (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 7)

Villain--2 points--What's a Bond movie without dastardly villains and their henchmen? (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 7)

Setting--2 points--The Bond movies are all about exotic locations. (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 7)

Gadgets, Vehicles, Lairs--2 points--What's the cool stuff? (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 7)

Bond girls--2 points--The ladies, oh yes, the ladies. (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 7)

Sean Connery or Daniel Craig?--1 point--These are the best Bonds (no need to debate) and get an automatic extra point if appearing in the film.

Musical theme--1 point if in the top 5

Die Another Day
Story/Plot--The story is coherent enough, even if the villain's plan isn't very common-sensical. The villain, rogue North Korean Colonel Moon, has world domination on the mind and plans to use his satellite, which can redirect the sun's rays, to blaze a path through the DMZ in Korea. But it's not really clear what that will do? Dialogue is full of action movie cliches. (0 points)
Action--The aforementioned fencing scene, where Bond and Colonel Moon's alter ego, British adventurer Gustav Graves, swordfight throughout an old English fencing club, destroying priceless paintings and sculptures on the way, is a masterpiece of movement and humor. Other action scenes are fairly generic. Top 7 (1 point)
Villain--Colonel Moon, even in his Gustav Graves disguise, just doesn't have much charisma. His henchman, Zao, has an interesting look with diamonds embedded in his face, but never actually does anything. (0 points)
Setting--Fun locations in Cuba and an ice hotel in Iceland. I don't believe any other Bonds have ever had parts set in North Korea, either. Top 7. (1 point)
Gadgets, Vehicles, Lairs--The ice hotel is cool, and although James Bond's invisible car is a little silly, points for creativity. I believe this pushes Live and Let Die out of the Top 7. (1 point)
Bond Girls--Halle Berre plays Jinx, an American agent and Bond's love interest. Beautiful, sassy, and every bit Bond's equal. I don't think she quite cracks the top 3, but Jinx is definitely Top 7. (1 point)
SC or DC? No
Music--Theme song is by Madonna and god-awful. I'm not sure if the music in this or Man With the Golden Gun is worse, but they're both at the bottom (0 points)
Total: 4 points

Rejiggered points for other movies:
Live and Let Die (-1) for Gadgets/Vehicles/Lairs
The Man With the Golden Gun (-1) for Bond Girls
On Her Majesty's Secret Service (-1) for Setting
Goldfinger (-1) for Action

And, here are the updated results:
1) The Spy Who Loved Me, 12 points
2, 3) Goldfinger, Casino Royale (tied with 9 points)
4) On Her Majesty's Secret Service (8 points)
5, 6) Skyfall, Thunderball (tied with 6 points)
7) Spectre (5 points)
8, 9) Live and Let Die, Die Another Day (4 points)
10) The Man With the Golden Gun (3 points)

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Ranking the Man With the Golden Gun

I previously ranked some of the James Bond movies here and here. Last week my son and I saw The Man With the Golden Gun, from 1974 and starring Roger Moore as Bond and Christopher Lee as the villain Scaramanga, an assassin who uses a golden gun. Even though the gun is only capable of firing one (golden) bullet at a time, Scaramanga is such a skillful marksman that he always kills his target. We've been seeing a lot of the classic Bonds, so this is the first I have seen with my son that was really bad.

Since the Bond movies are formulaic and their quality is based on how well they fulfill the formula, I created a little rubric to rank the Bond movies, with several categories a movie can get points in. I'm going to adjust the scoring system slightly here, awarding 2 points if the movie is one of the top 3 Bond movies for a category, and 1 point if it's in the top 7 (changed from the top 6). Here are the criteria, with a maximum of 14 points available:

Story/Plot--2 points--Is the plot coherent and logical? Are the stakes high? (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 7)

Action--2 points--Are the stunts exciting? The car chases thrilling? (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 7)

Villain--2 points--What's a Bond movie without dastardly villains and their henchmen? (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 7)

Setting--2 points--The Bond movies are all about exotic locations. (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 7)

Gadgets, Vehicles, Lairs--2 points--What's the cool stuff? (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 7)

Bond girls--2 points--The ladies, oh yes, the ladies. (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 7)

Sean Connery or Daniel Craig?--1 point--These are the best Bonds (no need to debate) and get an automatic extra point if appearing in the film.

Musical theme--1 point if in the top 5

The Man With the Golden Gun
Story/Plot--The dialogue in this is terrible, and the stakes are almost comically low. Scaramanga has stolen some sort of device that allows solar power panels to become much more efficient. Why the British Secret Service would care about this is not really clear. (0 points)
Action--The action scenes are highly implausible without being interesting. (0 points)
Villain--Christopher Lee brings an enthusiasm and energy to his role that I like, and his henchman Nick Nack, a little person played by Herve Villechaize (i.e. Tattoo on Fantasy Island), is sufficiently weird to earn a top 7. (1 point)
Setting--Some decent scenes in Hong Kong and Bangkok and a stunning location on a remote island in the South China Sea. Top 7. (1 point)
Gadgets, Vehicles, Lairs--Scaramanga's cool island mansion/hideout gets points for being, along with the underwater lair in The Spy Who Loved Me and the beach house in Thunderball, one of the villain lairs most people would actually like to have as a real vacation house. Top 7 (1 point)
Bond Girls--Britt Ekland as Mary Goodnight is pretty useless, but astoundingly beautiful. Barely makes the top 7. (1 point)
SC or DC? No
Music--This is the worst music of any Bond I have seen so far. It's like they saw that rock music could work as a theme song in Live and Let Die, but decided all rock music sounds the same, so why pay for anything good? (0 points)
Total: 4 points

Rejiggered points for other movies, taking into account current movie and slight change in scoring system:
Thunderball (+1) moves into top 7 for story/plot
Goldfinger (+1) moves into top 7 for action

And, here are the updated results:
1) The Spy Who Loved Me, 12 points
2) Goldfinger (10 points)
3, 4) Casino Royale, On Her Majesty's Secret Service (tied with 9 points)
5, 6) Skyfall, Thunderball (tied with 6 points)
7, 8) Live and Let Die, Spectre tied with 5 points
9) The Man With the Golden Gun (4 points)

Saturday, January 2, 2016

Ranking Spectre

I previously ranked some of the James Bond movies here. Last night my son and I saw the latest movie, Spectre, in the movie theater. so I thought I would add it to our list. This is an interesting Bond movie as in retrospect, the four movies starring Daniel Craig create a self-enclosed tetralogy, separate from the other previous Bond movies. This is the concluding chapter and provides an actual resolution to the tetralogy.

Since the Bond movies are formulaic and their quality is based on how well they fulfill the formula, I created a little rubric to rank the Bond movies, with several categories a movie can get points in. Most of the categories award 2 points if the movie is one of the top 3 Bond movies, and 1 point if it's in the top 6. Here are the criteria, with a maximum of 14 points available:

Story/Plot--2 points--Is the plot coherent and logical? Are the stakes high? (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 6)

Action--2 points--Are the stunts exciting? The car chases thrilling? (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 6)

Villain--2 points--What's a Bond movie without dastardly villains and their henchmen? (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 6)

Setting--2 points--The Bond movies are all about exotic locations. (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 6)

Gadgets, Vehicles, Lairs--2 points--What's the cool stuff? (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 6)

Bond girls--2 points--The ladies, oh yes, the ladies. (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 6)

Sean Connery or Daniel Craig?--1 point--These are the best Bonds (no need to debate) and get an automatic extra point if appearing in the film.

Musical theme--1 point if in the top 5

Spectre
Story/Plot--A little incoherent, but providing a meaningful resolution to the Daniel Craig Bond tetralogy puts it in the top 6, and pushes Thunderball out of the top 6. (1 points)
Action--Overall only so-so, but a great, breathtaking opening scene in Mexico City puts it in the top 6, and pushes Goldfinger out of the top 6. (1 point)
Villain--Blofeld, as played by Christoph Waltz, is not quite top 3 but definitely top 6, and pushed Live and Let Die out of the top 6. (1 point)
Setting--I don't know, much of it is in typical London, the Rome scenes are okay but the Tangier scenes are basically just desert. Doesn't rank. (0 points)
Gadgets, Vehicles, Lairs--Not so heavy on the gadgets, a nice car but not too special, lairs are pretty generic. (0 points)
Bond Girls--I think Bond's main love interest in this one, Madeleine Swann, ranks as one of the better Bond girls of all time. Plus earlier in the movie, Monica Bellucci plays the widow of an assassin who Bond seduces (the widow, not the assassin). Top 6, and knocks Skyfall out of the Top 6. (1 point)
SC or DC? Craig, +1
Music--Forgettable (0 points)
Total: 5 points

Rejiggered points for other movies:
Goldfinger (-1) 9 points
Live and Let Die (-1) 5 points
Thunderball (-1) 5 points
Skyfall (-1) 6 points

And, here are the updated results:
1) The Spy Who Loved Me, 12 points
2, 3, 4) Goldfinger, Casino Royale, On Her Majesty's Secret Service, tied with 9 points
5) Skyfall, 6 points
6, 7, 8) Thunderball, Live and Let Die, Spectre tied with 5 points

Monday, August 31, 2015

Ranking the James Bond Movies

So my son is 10 years old, and over the past year or so, we've been watching some of the James Bond movies together. Many of these I have not seen since I was in high school. We have half a dozen on DVD, so I'll rank those as well as Casino Royale, which I've watched twice since its release in 2006 and believe I remember well enough to rank.

Unlike the superhero movies, I'm going to put together a little rubric to make this an objective exercise. Since the Bond movies are formulaic and their quality is based on how well they fulfill the formula, I'm going to lay out the several categories a Bond movie can get points in. Most of the categories will award 2 points if the movie is one of the top 3 Bond movies (out of the 7 I'm rating), and 1 point if it's in the top 6. (Please keep in mind, I am only basing this on the 6 movies I have watched with my son, plus Casino Royale. In future, I may add more movies to the mix.) Here are the criteria, with a maximum of 14 points available:

Story/Plot--2 points--Is the plot coherent and logical? Are the stakes high? (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 6)

Action--2 points--Are the stunts exciting? The car chases thrilling? (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 6)

Villain--2 points--What's a Bond movie without dastardly villains and their henchmen? (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 6)

Setting--2 points--The Bond movies are all about exotic locations. (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 6)

Gadgets, Vehicles, Lairs--2 points--What's the cool stuff? (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 6)

Bond girls--2 points--The ladies, oh yes, the ladies. (2 points, top 3; 1 point, top 6)

Sean Connery or Daniel Craig?--1 point--These are the best Bonds (no need to debate) and get an automatic extra point if appearing in the film.

Musical theme--1 point if in the top 5

Goldfinger
Story/Plot--Cornering the world gold market by irradiating the gold in Fort Knox. Definitely top 3 (2 points)
Action--The car chase is good, the golf game is classic, but not a whole lot of stunts. Top 6. (1 point)
Villain--Goldfinger? Odd Job? Are you kidding me? Top 3 (2 points)
Setting--Scotland and Kentucky are creative, but not that exotic. Top 6 (1 point)
Gadgets, Vehicles, Lairs--Oh, God, the Aston Martin! Plus an extensive visit to Q's lab. And Goldfinger's laser. Top 3 (2 points)
Bond Girls--Everybody remembers Pussy Galore because of her name, but she doesn't actually make much of an impact in the movie. 0 points
SC or DC? Connery, +1
Music--Goldfinger, yep, +1
Total: 10 points

Thunderball
Story/Plot--Nuclear missile dropped underwater, top 6 (1 point)
Action--Great SCUBA scenes (and innovative for their time), a decent car chase. Top 6 (1 point)
Villain--Emilio Largo--Who? (0 points)
Setting--Opening scene in Paris, most of the action in the Bahamas. A little generic (0 points)
Gadgets, Vehicles, Lairs--Underwater breather, lots of cool SCUBA stuff, Largo's beachfront house is sweet. Top 6 (1 point)
Bond Girls--Fiona Volpe--not too memorable. Top 6 (1 point)
SC or DC? Connery, +1
Music--Tom Jones on the title song. I guess we'll say Top 5, +1
Total: 6 points

On Her Majesty's Secret Service
Story/Plot--The best plot of the movies, the only one that's a geniune tearjerker. (2 points)
Action--Some really beautifully done ski scenes, Top 3 (2 points)
Villain--Blofeld as played by Telly Savalas, plus the formidable Fraulein Bunt definite Top 3 (2 points)
Setting--Sardinia, but mostly in Switzerland, Top 6 (1 point)
Gadgets, Vehicles, Lairs--The Aston Martin again, and Blofeld's chalet is cool as hell. Top 3 (2 points)
Bond Girls--Diana Rigg, the only woman (until Casino Royale) Bond every fell for (and who can blame him?) (2 points)
SC or DC?--Nope
Music--Not too memorable
Total: 9 points

Live and Let Die
Story/Plot--Something about cornering the heroin market, I don't know, not too great (0 points)
Action--Gators, a boat chase in the bayou, but doesn't add up to a top 6 finish
Villain--Mr. Big/Kananga is forgettable, but Baron Samedi is worth a mention. Top 6 (1 point)
Setting--Some great shots of Bond really, really out of place in Harlem, some nice shots of New Orleans. Unfortunately, much of the movie is set in the fictional island of San Monique. Why? Is there any other Bond movie with a fictional location? Top 6 (1 point)
Gadgets, Vehicles, Lairs--A magnetic watch, some cool boats, top 6 (1 point)
Bond Girls--Not one, but two of the hottest Bond Girls ever--Solitaire (Jane Seymour) and Rosie Carver (Gloria Hendry), top 3 (2 points)
SC or DC?--Nope
Music--Paul McCartney, +1
Total: 6 points

The Spy Who Loved Me
Story/Plot--Actually a fairly exciting, tense plot about some stolen nuclear missiles, top 3 (2 points)
Action--Great underwater action, the fight with Jaws on the train, top 6 (1 points)
Villain--Stromberg is forgettable (though with good taste in lairs), but his henchman Jaws is second only to Oddball in Bond history. Top 3 (2 points)
Setting--Great atmospheric scenes in Egypt, Sardinia, plus the opening ski scene in Austria--definite top 3 (2 points)
Gadgets, Vehicles, Lairs--A Lotus that turns into a submarine! An awesome undersea lair with transparent walls and an awesome bar that anybody would want to live in, or at least through a bitchin' party! (2 points)
Bond Girls--Barbara Bach, the hottest Bond girl of all time, and with a huge role in the movie, too. (2 points)
SC or DC?--Nope
Music--Nobody Does It Better, Top 5, +1
Total: 12 points

Casino Royale
Story/Plot--A plot to bankrupt a known terrorist at a secret high-stakes gambling event, top 6 (1 point)
Action--The initial parkour chase in Madagascar, plus a number of other great scenes puts this in the top 3 (2 points)
Villain--Le Chiffre cries blood, hits you in your gonads with a big rope if he doesn't like you, top 6 (1 point)
Setting--Miami, Montenegro, and some really great scenes in Venice, top 3 (2 points)
Gadgets, Vehicles, Lairs--A tracking device, an explosive keychain, top 6 (1 point)
Bond Girls--Vesper Lynd just barely misses the top 3 (1 point)
SC or DC?--Daniel Craig +1
Music--Not too memorable
Total: 9 points

Skyfall
Story/Plot--A villain who used to be in MI6 but feels betrayed, top 6 (1 point)
Action--Really cool fight on the top of the elevator shaft in a Shanghai skyscraper and several other scenes puts this in the top 6 (1 point)
Villain---Raoul Silva, one of the more believable Bond villains, top 6 (1 point)
Setting--Shanghai, Bond's childhood home in Scotland, London, including the bowels of MI6, top 6 (1 point)
Gadgets, Vehicles, Lairs--Not a lot of that stuff here (0 points)
Bond Girls--Severine, but really M functions as the Bond Girl in this one (?!), top 6 (1 point)
SC or DC?--Daniel Craig +1
Music--Adele, +1
Total: 7 points

And, here are the results:
1) The Spy Who Loved Me, 12 points
2) Goldfinger, 10 points
3, 4) Casino Royale, On Her Majesty's Secret Service, tied with 9 points
5) Skyfall, 7 points
6, 7) Thunderball and Live and Let Die, tied with 6 points